


Thanks, I hate it

by Kitoko_kun



Series: Glory-holeverse [3]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Anal Sex, Christmas Fluff, Dildos, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Felching, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Holidays, M/M, Nipple Play, Pets, Tattoo Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 10:46:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28470009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitoko_kun/pseuds/Kitoko_kun
Summary: Gerard and Frank have been married for fifteen years and still find ways to compete over who's better at Christmas.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way, Mikey Way/Pete Wentz
Series: Glory-holeverse [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1921372
Comments: 30
Kudos: 76
Collections: Have Yourself A Merry Little Fic Exchange





	Thanks, I hate it

**Author's Note:**

  * For [casanovica](https://archiveofourown.org/users/casanovica/gifts).



Turning the volume down on the music while being inside his car was Gerard’s usual announcement for an important inner monologue about to become an external one despite no one asking for it, because if he let those things continue their course inside his head they only grew until they exploded and, in his experience, putting them into words and sharing them was the best way to avoid it, even if his counterpart wasn’t paying 100% attention. It was okay, sometimes he just needed the exercise of understanding and explaining, besides listening to his own voice.

“So I love my husband, you know?” He began, as if someone had actually asked, or he was following up a previous conversation. Maybe he was being interviewed in his mind. “For the record,” or was being questioned at a police station. “I love Frank, with all my heart. Well, that's an exaggeration, I love a lot of things. And people. But Frank’s like my favorite, right up there with Batman. But don’t tell him that. If he asks, Batman’s second place, by a lot. I mean, Batman doesn’t exist, so it doesn’t matter, it’s just that if he did, and he was offering… I’m not sure my vows would stop me, you know what I’m saying?”

He didn’t wait to know if they knew what he was saying.

“Besides, he has dressed up as Batman and it’s like having the best of two worlds. Whatever. Where was I going with this…? Oh, yeah. I hate him. I fuckin’ — ” he made a weird noise gripping the steering wheel tighter, close to a growl. “17 years we’ve been together! Can you believe that shit? I can barely believe I made it to 43, much less that we’ve been together for 17 fuckin’ years, and married for 15 and a half! You know there’s like a 50% rate of divorce going on? How the fuck are we not on that stat? Sure, there’s still time, but it’s been a pretty successful marriage so far, so yeah, I know, you’re wondering why I hate him, right? Well.”

Gerard shook his head, biting his lips and staring at the road with hatred, as if it was truly unforgivable. And of course it was.

“He’s so fuckin’ competitive! I swear, it’s like he can’t get over how much I won everything when I proposed to him and he’s been out to ruin every single surprise I come up with ever since. Especially Christmas. Oh, that fucker. Can you believe he sniffs around until he finds his presents? Even when I hide it at Mikey’s! Or my parents’! Or HIS parents’! Or Molly’s, or… Well, you get the idea. It’s like he has a fuckin’ system. And listen to this, okay? Remember the plan I told you about last time?”

Once again he didn’t wait for an answer.

“You were supposed to come home with me on the 25th to surprise him after I gave him a decoy present. And the decoy present was going to be really good too, you know? A really nice Fender guitar, I won’t bore you with the details, but it was signed by Henry Rollins and the motherfucker got it out of my car yesterday! Frank, not Henry Rollins.” He stopped to clarify although it wasn’t needed. “I swear, it’s like living with a fuckin’ racoon. A raccoon with opposable thumbs who knows how to write—‘Cause that’s the worst part! He leaves me FUCKIN’ NOTES! And they’re all like _‘Nice try, babe’_ with a motherfuckin’ winky face. What are you winking at, you asshole?! I swear to fuckin’ Jesus, if I ever become a villain this will be my origin story, just my fuckin’ husband being insufferable. ”

He saw his counterpart yawning. “Of course this is boring for you. Fuck. You’re going to love Frank. And he’s going to love you so much, I can’t fuckin’ wait to see his face. Do you think he’ll cry?” Gerard smiled thinking about it. “Loser. I’m taking pictures, and printing, framing and hanging them in our bedroom so he can see his fuckin’ face and remember that I finally won!”

Once they hit a red light, he bent over the seat next to him and sneaked a couple of fingers inside the carrier cage that was behind the seat-belt. “By the way, how attached are you to the name Soup? ‘Cause I know the people at the shelter called you that, but Frank really likes coming up with names, so he may change it. Are you fine with that? Wow, okay, I’ll take that as a yes.” He laughed, wiping off the puppy’s saliva on his jeans before going back to the steering wheel. “Oh, and I haven’t told you all of it! Frank made plans with Mikey behind my back, can you believe that traitor? Also, can you pee in his slippers? They told me you were a good girl, but I’ll give you a treat. Or what if I pee on them and you take the blame? He can’t divorce you, he surely will divorce me if I do it. Did I tell you about the stats?”

***

It was something they had been discussing for a while. When they moved in together, Frank already owned Sweet Pea —age: unknown— and had recently adopted Mama, so they both kept each other company. When Sweet Pea moved on to a better place, Dog Heaven, they adopted Lois and kept the balance of having two dogs, until sadly last year Mama had went on to meet Sweet Pea, and Frank and Gerard found themselves talking about getting Lois a sibling, only Gerard suggested adopting a cat this time and that opened up a series of questions and research to be made, so they left the conversation for later. Cut to Gerard plotting this wonderful plan to finally surprise his stupid and hot husband, but of course Frank had to go and accept Mikey’s invitation to spend Christmas together with him and Pete. He didn’t believe it was a coincidence; actually, Gerard thought there was at least a 40% chance of Frank hiring Pete to seduce Mikey and reeling him in for a 2-year romantic relationship just so they could get to this point where they couldn’t refuse a family Christmas. 

Yes, it was far fetched, but when it came down to Frank Iero, well, Gerard wouldn’t dismiss any theories solely on the basis of them being far fetched. And it wasn’t only about him entertaining the idea of Pete not being real because he wasn’t Gerard’s favorite person, that was a whole other topic and please don’t even get him started.

Anyway, the plan was to go together to their cottage by the lake, which made it impossible to hide Soup until Christmas. The surprise would have to come sooner. It seemed like a perfect day for it too, since Frank was out doing… a work related thing? Okay, Gerard had zoomed out as soon as he saw an opportunity to at least try and outsmart him. The point was that he had a bit of time to get inside their home and prepare everything so the new puppy would be the first thing he saw once he entered their house. Gerard even got a huge ribbon to put around her collar, it would be so freaking adorable Frank would cry, like a loser. Yes, he was sure Soup would accomplish the task with her beautiful puppy face and giant eyes. Frank wouldn’t know what hit him.

Gerard had just turned the key to open the door when he started hearing Lois barking. “Shh, it's alright,” he whispered, holding the carrier with Soup on one arm and patting her head with his free hand, assuming the smell from the new dog might have gotten her over excited. However, Lois kept jumping and turning around towards the hallway. “What’s wrong?” He asked out loud.

“Lois, you promised not to tell, you fucking traitor!” Frank’s voice came from their bedroom. Of course the jerk was there to ruin the surprise! Where the fuck had he parked his car so that he wouldn’t see it? Gerard knew he was perfectly capable of parking it at his parents’ and walk for an hour and a half just so he could win.

“Dude, she’s on my side!” Gerard argued, patting her head as a thank you, assuming she was trying to warn him about his husband’s presence. “I’m the one who feeds her at 4am before going to bed!”

“What?! I’ve been feeding her at 7am when I get up!”

“Fuck, have you playing us?!” He looked Lois in the eyes, which she responded to by wagging her tail and making an adorable face. Gerard began walking down the hallway, followed by her and still carrying the cage. Soup was pretty calm, maybe a bit intimidated by so many new smells. “This dog is too smart for us. And weren’t you at… something work related, you fuckin’ liar?”

Peeking into the room all he could see was Frank’s ass in some jeans that made it look truly spectacular, to be honest, and he almost stopped frowning getting distracted by it, but had to keep doing it because apart from being angry, he was confused about his husband having half of his body inside the closet. “Don’t make any coming out of the closet jokes, please.”

“I was going for ‘loving the view’, but what the fuck are you doing?”

“It was supposed to be a surprise!”

“What? Is it your ass? ‘Cause I love it.”

“I got you a cat,” Frank confessed, stepping out to remain kneeled on the floor, scratching his head. “But SOMEONE,” he gave Lois an accusatory look. “Wouldn’t stop barking and the cat ran off into the closet.”

Gerard blinked a few times, focusing on Frank’s hair and swallowing a sound that really came out as some sort of moan. “You’re blond.”

“Yeah.” Only then Frank looked up, a smile on his face as if saying _‘What? This old thing’,_ but evidently knowing how good it was on him. However, it didn’t last long at the sight of the carrier in Gerard’s hand. His eyes were sparkling as he asked: “Is that a dog?!”

Gerard blinked, suddenly reminded of his main reason to be there. “It is—Wait, you got me a cat?! And it’s in the closet?!”

Frank nodded. “It’s scared, I can’t get it to come out.”

“You shouldn’t force people to come out,” Gerard smiled. Frank pursed his lips, shaking his head, although he seemed about to break out in laughter. “You know, from the closet.”

“Yeah, very fuckin’ funny. Can you look up something on WikiHow or whatever?”

“How can I get my cat to accept they’re gay?” Gerard said out loud. “Shit, you got me a cat!”

Frank got up from the floor, dusting his knees where his tattoos peeked out of the holes in his jeans. “And you got me a puppy!” His face brightened even more as he walked closer to open the carrier and hug the animal between his arms. Gerard didn’t think of putting the carrier down, he just stood there watching how Frank’s face was being licked all over by Soup, feeling his chest so warm from Frank’s smile and laughter he couldn’t move. “You’re so fucking cute!” He said, lifting the puppy to look into her eyes. “It should be illegal!”

“Why are you blond?” Gerard managed to get out of the trance, because fuck, he looked GOOD.

“The photoshoot I told you about, it was for—” Frank looked up from Soup, letting her rest her little head on his shoulder. “Dude, are you seriously more interested in my hair than your cat?”

It took a while for Gerard to realize Frank was saying words he needed to understand and that his pretty lips weren’t moving asking for a kiss. In fact, nothing in his body language was pointing towards it, but he leaned in for a kiss anyway and only got tongue from Soup, right in his beard. Wiping off dog spit from it brought him back to reality. “Shit, right!” he remembered. “A cat! That’s amazing!”

It was his turn to walk over to the closet and take a peek, lowering himself careful of not making any noise while using his phone as a flashlight to see that there was indeed a small cat hiding in there, trying its hardest to fuse with the corner of the closet and hissing as much as possible. Still, it was ridiculously cute. Every single cat was.

“So, just to recap, we both decided today was the day to give each other early Christmas presents because our plans to go out of the city got in the way of the surprise pet on the 25th?” said Frank, laughing really loud after. “We need help, Gee! Our brains are absorbing each other!”

“Fuck. You think that’s a thing?” Gerard asked, sitting on the floor to search on his phone for what to do to have the kitty in his hands soon. “Are we getting dumber or smarter?”

“Dumber, definitely. If Lois has been able to trick us into feeding her twice, we’re just a couple of idiots.”

“Bimbos,” Gerard smiled, glancing at Frank.

“Himbos,” Frank corrected. “That’s what the kids are calling it.”

“You know what? Getting the dogs out of here might be a solid first step to get the cat to come out.”

“And now I’m the only himbo in this household, great.”

“Well, you’re blond.”

Frank somehow managed to flip Gerard off even with Soup in his arms and one leg pushing Lois out, trying to get her to follow him. “C’mon girl, let’s go. I’ll feed you again I guess.”

Little paws could be heard on the hardwood floor from both dogs once Frank closed the door behind him, and Gerard also listened to him laughing. He knew it had been a perfect gift, although the motherfucker just had to go and give him something equally good back. Why couldn’t he be one of those people who gifted pajamas or wine subscriptions? Like it wasn’t enough ruining the surprises Gerard prepared for him, he had to outstage him too. OutSanta him. In his own house, seriously.

“Well, kitty, people on the Internet agree I should talk to you so you get used to my voice and let you get out on your own,” he said out loud, getting more comfortable sitting on the floor by crossing his legs. “Which makes sense, you know? If you feel safe in there, by all means stay as long as you need to. Ignore all the coming out jokes, we’re pretty chill here. I mean, I’d love to hug you, but only when you’re ready, okay? Meow once if you’re okay.” The cat didn’t make a sound. “Sorry, that was a joke. You’ll have to put up with a lot of mediocre humor, you’ll need to get used to it. Hey! What should I call you? Do you have any preferences?” Again, the cat didn’t make a sound. “I only took one look at you, but I’m thinking Lotion. I don’t know, it just came to me, and it has like a nice ring to it. Lotion, lotion, lotion, ‘causing a commotion, oh oh locomotion,” he sang a bit. “Is that making you feel better or scaring you even more? C’mon, baby, do the locomotion!”

He ended up singing the full song, or what he remembered, and doing more rants for a while about whatever was going through his mind, until he couldn’t think of more stuff and went on to read comics, describing the panels —because how else would the kitty have context for what was going on in the story?— and doing voices for the characters, which obviously was the most fun part. In fact, he was pretty lost in his Harley Quinn act when he heard noise and lifted his gaze to see the first paw stepping outside of the closet, testing the metaphorical waters. “Pudding? That you?” Gerard continued, smiling.

When Lotion came near enough to graze its little head against the back of Gerard’s hand, he had to press his lips together and accept that Frank had done it again.

***

The bright side of all of them being little was that they could introduced without major issues. Once Lotion got comfortable enough around Gerard, he didn’t seem to mind Soup’s sniffing, although he still seemed a bit intimidated by Lois, so they would need to take it slow. The not that bright side was being a family of five now and Gerard starting to dread again the road trip they had ahead of them for tomorrow.

“We already said yes,” Frank reminded him.

“No,  _ you  _ said it, there was no  _ ‘we’.” _

“We’re a we. I represent both of us.”

Gerard thought of replying  _ ‘since when’, _ and knew Frank would say  _ ‘since we got married’, _ because they had been together enough time for Gerard to have mental discussions with him. He was actually able to hear the  _ ‘there’s a we in wedding’ _ and see his face of, probably, pure pleasure by shutting Gee up with such a good joke. And he was truly jealous, it was the kind of joke he liked to make. And it made him a bit horny too. Frank made him feel too many things at once, all intense as if they had just met.

Already in his favorite PJs, he went inside the bed, also holding his cat, who didn’t seem to want to be apart from him at all. Frank took his silence as him being really upset.

“Babe, I only did it because I know you miss Mikey. And I miss him too. It’ll be good for all of us to catch up.”

“There’s nothing to catch up on. Mikey and I talk all the time.”

“Exchanging memes doesn’t count,” before Gerard could interrupt him, Frank raised a finger to clarify he had one more thing to say. “No matter how good they are.”

Gerard smiled proud of himself. When he made a good meme, he sent it to all his groups, and that included the one he had with Frank and Mikey (‘People I’d burn churches with’), the other one with Mikey, Molly, Ray and Claire (‘D&Dudes’), the one he still had with Ray and Mikey (‘Furray supremacy’) and the last one with Frank, Mikey and Ray (‘We should start a band together’). Meaning Mikey saw his memes 4 times. That was being close with his brother.

Of course he had a solid argument to shut his beautiful son of a bitch of a husband up and insist on hating the idea of hosting anything in their lake cottage, but Lotion decided to be the most absolutely adorable creature ever by walking on his chest and curling like a perfect donut. Gerard bit his lips and stared at Frank with shiny eyes, remaining silent so he wouldn’t wake the cat up, but clearly communicating: “I’M FUCKING DYING.”

“Pretty good present, huh?” Frank smiled way too full of himself.

“I hate you so much.” Gerard mouthed.

Gerard’s theory of Frank being an evil mastermind gained new evidence when he decided to undress right there and then. Gerard felt one of Frank’s life mission was to piss him off and turn him on at the same time, bringing up this resentment mixed with hornyness that just shouldn’t exist. He couldn’t even remember what he wanted to say about the holidays when Frank threw his t-shirt on the floor and let him see his tattoos. It wasn’t that Gerard didn’t see them enough, Frank wasn’t shy about showing his body, it was just that Gerard liked them way too much.

Frank had filled almost every inch of his skin with ink those years, and Gerard loved all of it. Sometimes Frank surprised him with a new piece and on others times, he would tell him from the beginning or ask for help with a draft. His favorite? Of course his own signature on his husband’s ass, which had been his wedding present. The tattoo that read “Your name here” actually had Gerard’s name now. It was romantic as fuck. Also hot. 

And as if that wasn’t enough, Frank was now even hotter than he was when they met. No idea how, people weren’t supposed to get hotter when they aged, but Frank did. He was so… sturdy now, like, he looked really strong and had big arms and shoulders, his neck was broader and… fuck. Gerard’s gaze was now stuck in Frank’s chest.

_ Those fuckin’ tits… _

“Stop it,” said Frank, buttoning up a pajama shirt. Gerard lifted his gaze with an exaggerated head movement until it reached his husband’s face. He knew exactly what Frank meant, because he had forbidden Gerard from using the word ‘tits’ after telling him how much he liked them and what he wanted to do to him until he got sick of it. Gee chose to play dumb anyway.

“I can’t look at my husband?”

“Not like that,” he complained, now taking off his pants and, of course, Gerard’s face followed his hands without any type of subtly.  _ Those fuckin’ thighs… _ “I know you’re thinking about it.”

“So now you’re the thought police?”

“Dude. Eyes up here.”

Gerard blinked and didn’t bother to look up this time. “I’m not looking, I’m just thinking about…” shit, he needed to have an actual excuse if he wanted to lie. “Your present. Did you like it?”

Frank got his pajama pants on and walked towards the empty side of the bed, moving the covers so he could get in too. “I love Soup,” he smiled. “And I hate how good the name Soup is, I can’t think of anything better to name her. Pisses me off.”

“I’m glad something does. You deserve it.”

“Is this about the guitar? Because I used it on the photoshoot and it was amazing.”

“Right!” Gerard had to hold back from sitting on the bed to emphasize his revelation, because Lotion was still sleeping on the crook of his neck and he would rather chop off an arm than waking him up. “I forgot about it! You ruined two surprises!”

“But I’m so happy with my presents, isn’t that more important?” Frank got comfortable on the bed and turned to his side to caress the cat’s little ears. “And the fact that I totally won this Christmas again.”

Perhaps it was a reflex, maybe being truly angry at Frank and hearing him gloating but still having enough brain function to watch his blond hair and think about how hot he looked was him being trained to feel resentment and hornyness at the same time. Now he just wanted to get naked instead of arguing. Or both. “Are you at least thanking me for them?”

Frank’s gaze went from the kitty to Gerard’s face. He had been pretty obvious with his wording. “I’m kinda tired,” he said. “And you can’t move or you’ll wake the cat up.”

Gerard briefly considered chopping his arm off. Frank didn’t look tired at all, but there was no reason to think he was making an excuse. They didn’t do that, didn’t need to use the old _ ‘I have a headache’ _ or _ ‘it’s been a long day’ _ , it was simply  _ ‘I don’t want to’ _ and that was that. Although they rarely said it, they were pretty in sync in all hornyness related schedules, so Gerard felt a little weird being the only one craving sex right now.

“Yeah…” he muttered. “Good night, Frankie.”

“‘Night, Gee.”

After Frank leaned in to kiss his forehead and turned around to turn off the lights, Gerard did some calculations. He wasn’t completely sure, but he thought it had been at least three weeks of… nothing. That was unusual, pretty unusual. They had never went that long without touching each other, unless one of them was traveling, and even then there were always video calls, phone sex and dick pics. Now they had done nothing that included below the waist content and Gerard had just noticed it.

Had they reached that point in their marriage everyone talked about? Were they now people that didn’t have sex anymore?

Had they turned into a bitter straight couple?

The thought made him shiver. Lotion did not appreciate it.

***

If it was 10am and they had not only their car all packed with everything they needed for the trip, but also their pets secure and ready to go, with themselves showered and already fed, it was purely because Frank had decided it had to be that way. That guy was truly a force to be reckoned with. Gerard admired a great deal his ability to accomplish anything he put his mind to, even if that meant dragging him out of bed and sticking him in the shower without being fully awake.

He would have to say it was better to get on the shower by himself with the promise of something happening in there, or out of the shower, or during breakfast, or on top of the kitchen table. But he had none of that. And boy did he need it. Yes, coffee helped, but there was no comparison with waking up with Frank’s mouth on his, or honestly any other part of Frank’s body against any part of his. There were plenty of combinations and they were all welcomed.

Frank got on the driver’s seat. Gerard was yawning next to him, the carrier with Lotion inside sitting on his lap so he wouldn’t be too stressed. Lois and Soup were secure on the back seat. When Frank put a hand on the gear shift, Gerard placed his on top. Frank smiled and Gerard did too, using his thumb to caress his palm, biting his lower lip without noticing.

Frank broke eye contact and started the engine, taking his hand off the stick as soon as he could. Gerard didn’t take it personal, it clearly wasn’t the moment for anything, although he would’ve expected some sort of joke or comment about it. Perhaps it was too early for it.

Or perhaps there was something else going on.

“Hey, remember that list of stuff we used to have?” He suddenly asked and doubted for a moment if he should clarify which list he meant. Frank’s laugh confirmed there was no need.

“Yeah. Fuck, we were such dorks.”

Gerard laughed with him for a few seconds. “Yeah,” he nodded. “We should do it again.”

Frank didn’t know if he should keep on laughing, so he just kept his gaze on the road and a smile on his lips. “Why, babe?”

“Well, why not?” Gerard frowned. “It was fun. We haven’t done anything new in a while.”

“Is there anything left?” Frank joked again. “We actually completed the list, remember?”

“We just stopped adding stuff.” 

Maybe it had to do with the glory-hole place shutting down two years ago. They had tried to expand and had been adding new themed rooms and fun articles that gave Frank and Gerard new ideas that kept them entertained in that area of their relationship, and once the place went out of business they tried some stuff at home and it was alright, just as much as regular sex started to be, because it took less time and it even felt kinkier somehow as opposed to trying some roleplay or getting too many toys in the act  — or cavities.

At some point they really stopped thinking about it and now Gerard was worried it could be the reason they hadn’t even touched each other in so long. He wasn’t ready for this to be his new reality. Besides, wasn’t this one of the reasons people ended up divorcing?

Fuck, he was spiraling.

“You have something new in mind?” Frank asked, breaking the silence. Gerard breathed again, relieved he was interested enough to ask.

“Yeah, tons of stuff!” he said, ignoring Lotion had sneaked a paw through the carrier’s door to play with his finger and was clawing at him. It felt like he needed to prove Frank they still had a lot ahead of them, but he was suddenly drawing a blank. What the fuck hadn’t they already done? His mind went through all of the porn he had seen, hentai, Cosmopolitan articles and erotic comic books that reached his hands. He needed to say something, anything. “Felching.”

“What’s that?”

There was again some relief for Gerard, and he quietly thanked his brain for giving him a concept to work with. “Eating cum out of your partner’s ass,” he explained like it was no big deal.

“I… didn’t know there was a word for it,” Frank pressed his lips together, surely trying to be an adult about it and not laugh again. “Why do you know that word?”

“I’m a writer,” Gerard offered, confident.

“You’re a pervert.”

“Same difference. Anyway, it’s on the list now.”

He looked back at Frank once he realized he was watching him. It was a bit weird to talk about it in the car on their way to spend the holidays with more people, and in front of their pets, but Gerard didn’t regret bringing up the topic.

“I’m pretty sure we’ve already done it.”

“No, we haven’t,” he argued. “I’d remember it.”

“Dude, we’ve been together for 16 years. You can’t remember every single detail.”

“17. We’ve been married for 15 and a half. And I remember that stuff because I write it down.”

“You what?”

“I’m a writer,” Gerard pointed out again.

“You’re a pervert.”

“Is this Groundhog Day?”

“Yes, because I’m sure we’ve done it!” Frank insisted. “We stopped using condoms like a year after we got together. We must have… you know, rimmed each other after it at least once.”

“We never did! And we started using condoms again because of the mess, remember? So there haven’t been any more chances and I really want to try it out, do you think it tastes different?”

Frank seemed more serious now. Gerard believed he was actually thinking of an answer, but he turned the radio on all of a sudden and totally changed the topic, leaving him pretty disoriented. “Hey, you haven’t listened to our new songs,” he said. “They’re on my phone.”

He had to assume it was the excitement speaking for him, because Frank always wanted to show him everything he did and loved having Gerard’s honest feedback on it, secretly hoping he would say he was proud of him —of course Gerard always was. Surely he had just remembered now he had new stuff to show him, and it wasn’t about tossing his idea out or escaping the conversation because it had become uncomfortable. They didn’t do that, they didn’t escape conversations, or shied away from discussing what they wanted to do or how they felt. No, Frank and Gerard were above communication problems.

“I’d love to hear them,” Gerard smiled and took Frank’s phone.

***

The scenery around their second property always managed to calm him down, he noticed it as soon as he got one foot on the ground and opened the car door to take the first breath of fresh air outside of the city. One of the first things they wanted to do once they had enough money was to buy a property where they could relax and, not to brag, but both of them had been doing pretty well for the last few years. Frank had a band  — well, he had like 8 and they were all variations of him being the frontman, playing with a different formation of people — and Gerard had landed a deal to get one of his stories published as a comic book, which had also been just picked up for a screen adaptation on a famous streaming platform. It wasn’t like they couldn’t go out without being recognized, but they did have a house by the lake to avoid people and okay, Frank had been asked for an autograph at a Starbucks more than once and Gerard couldn’t attend Comic Con anymore without being stopped every 5 steps to have his picture taken.

Being secluded from people for the holidays was an attractive idea, only it lost some of its appeal when you added more people than Frank into the mix. It seemed like not even the fresh air, the lake’s beauty or the many trees and wild plants surrounding them would be enough to make Gerard completely forget about the imminent intrusion in his sanctuary.

“We should leave the second floor for them,” said Frank as he freed Lois and Soup from the back seat. “So we can check on the dogs.”

“Right,” Gerard nodded. “Lotion has to stay inside.”

“Yeah, but these two can run around the backyard.” 

He smiled watching Frank leashing both of them and letting them out for a walk, patting their heads in turns while they fought for his attention. Fences had been installed all around their property so that Lois could run around outside safely, and now she would have Soup to play with. “Don’t worry, buddy. Inside is just as good, we’ll have fun,” Gerard told his kitty, taking him inside. He had to make sure every window and door were closed before letting him explore and sniff every single piece of furniture until he was satisfied. Gee hoped he wouldn’t get too confused by all the changes he had gone through in that short amount of time.

They unloaded the car, bringing in their bags filled with clothes for three days, tabletop games, food and booze, the fancy coffee maker because Gerard insisted he didn’t like the one they had there, art supplies Frank was sure Gerard wasn’t going to use but let him pack anyway, and four guitars Gerard was sure Frank wasn’t going to use but let him pack anyway. Bed linings, towels, and everything deemed essential to be good hosts no matter how little time you wanted to spend around your brother’s boyfriend; it was the decent thing to do. At least that’s what Frank said.

Once it was all stored away, they both sat on the couch and Frank rested his head on Gerard’s shoulder, who took the opportunity to twirl his finger around a hair strand. “Blond looks good on you.” No idea why the observation deserved a laugh from Frank, and one of the good ones, where his voice got all high-pitched and shit. “What?”

“You’ve told me like 50 times.”

“Well, it’s true.” Gerard continued playing with his hair, scooting closer on the couch. They were alone there and without much more to do, maybe he could get something quick, or give Frank something quick, he wasn’t going to be picky about it, just being able to touch him a little was enough, so he placed his other hand on Frank’s thigh. “You look hot, honey.”

“Eh. I look okay.”

Gerard frowned. Unless he was fishing for compliments, Frank wasn’t one to play down his appeal. No, Frank was aware of how incredible he looked, he knew he was one of the hottest persons on Earth and was perfectly conscious of what he was causing his husband. Was this some kind of test?

“Amazing,” he insisted and went on to lift his face by the chin, kissing him on the lips, feeling them curving in a smile. Surely it had been a test and Gerard passed.

He assumed it was another one when Frank tried to pull back, so he placed a hand on the back of his head and bit his bottom lip to try and take things further, but it only made Frank grab Gerard’s forearm to stop him. “Hey, no. We’ll have company soon.”

“We’re alone, they won’t — ” Of course he was interrupted by the sound of an engine car approaching. “Motherfucker.”

The only thing worse than being cockblocked by his family, was being cockblocked by his family and having Frank with his  _ ‘I TOLD YOU SO’ _ smile on his face. How was he supposed to enjoy the holidays if they were going to start like this? He also didn’t care for being the only one annoyed by the interruption when it was usually both of them equally frustrated, cursing under their breaths, and more than once just carrying on with it out of spite, making people around them quickly uncomfortable. Gerard missed those times. And the worry about something being wrong appeared once more in his mind, but he forced it to the back and cataloged it as an intrusive thought he shouldn’t listen to. They were fine.

Lotion jumped on his lap and Gerard held him in his arms, just in time to watch Mikey stepping into the living room. He didn’t realize he was expecting to see him wearing glasses and that he had been picturing Mikey in his twenties, until he was in front of him. They truly hadn’t stopped seeing each other for that long, it probably was only two months since they finished their last D&D campaign and decided to take a little break, only now Gerard noticed he didn’t hang out much with Mikey outside of their epic role-playing.

“Aaw, your hair is so long!” his brother said. “You look like a woodland fairy.”

Gerard got up from the couch and extended one arm to hug him, holding Lotion in the other. “You always know what to say, little brother.”

“What did you call it?” he asked, leaning in to scratch the kitty’s head, not at all surprised he had it.

“Lotion.”

“I like it. Hey there, buddy.”

“I guess Frank told you about it?”

“Yeah, I went with him to the vet.”

Despite knowing there was no legitimate reason for it, he immediately felt betrayed. It could be because Mikey had helped Frank with his present, or because he didn’t think of telling Mikey he was gifting Soup to Frank and have him tag along at the dog shelter to pick her up, or because Frank said he missed Mikey to convince him of these holidays together and failed to mention he had seen him recently. All of those were stupid, but he still felt bitter. “Cool,” he replied, with nothing else to say, and turned around to watch Frank and Pete exchanging those straight greetings where they patted each other’s backs loudly.

Pete was blond too. He had long, blond hair. It didn’t look half as good as it did on Frank, but… he didn’t look bad. Though the main concern was Frank murdering him for copying his idea and therefore stealing his thunder  — one of Frank’s least favorite situations ever. Gerard remembered they had a shovel in the shed outside and considered how far away they were from civilization, surely enough to bury a body in the backyard without having any witnesses. And maybe Mikey was already sick of him, he had never been with a romantic partner for that long; Gerard thought he could see that  _ ‘yes, get rid of my boyfriend, thanks’ _ look on his face.

“Looking good, man!” Pete said to Frank, who smiled. Gerard assumed it was his  _ ‘I’m about to Google quick action poison with stuff I can find around a lake’ _ smile.

“Thanks, dude!” Frank replied. It was a little harder, but Gerard cracked the code in the message that clearly said _'_ __t_ hanks, I’ll be murdering you soon, dude’. _ “Yours came out good too,” he added and Gerard saw him raising a hand to grab one of Pete’s long and blond hair strands, anticipating he would strangle him with it. It would be poetic, really.

That didn’t happen. Frank and Pete were genuinely having a blond moment and Gerard was absolutely confused by the friendly scene.

“This place is awesome,” Mikey got him out of his head. “Can’t believe you didn’t invite us before.”

“Guess you had to invite yourselves.” Gerard said without thinking. Frank gave him the look full of hatred Gerard had hoped would be for Pete. 

“We’re happy to have you here,” said Frank. “We’ll get you set up on the second floor.” 

It would be good to have that separation and no, it had nothing to do with Gerard feeling threatened because Pete was all up in his personal space. He didn’t care about Pete, and his smile wasn’t forced  _ at all  _ when he approached him for a handshake, and he didn’t pull back when Pete moved his hand to greet Lotion.

“Sorry, he’s a bit stressed.”

“I can see,” Pete smiled without a care in the world. “Well, let’s go upstairs then.”

“Actually,” Mikey intervened. “Let’s just tell them already.”

“You sure?”

A thousand possibilities ran through Gerard’s mind while they did the whole charade of sitting in the living room, Frank on his side, one of his hands on Gee’s knee as if to calm him down; Mikey and Pete sat in front of them, all couple-y. He was still holding Lotion in his arms and felt how he rubbed against his neck; it seemed like everyone knew he was tense. And he had no clue as to why. He only disliked Pete a little bit, okay? And he would only be a little on board with helping Frank get rid of his dead body, but just because they were married for better or worse, and knew Frank would do the same for him; not having to listen to Pete talking about Nightmare before Christmas as if he owned it would be just a perk. 

Gerard didn’t hate him, and if Pete and Mikey were about to tell them they were getting married it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, because half of marriages ended up in divorce.

And, well, yes, he could stand Pete. Of course he could. He was an adult.

Although he still hoped those weren’t the news.

“We’re moving in together,” Mikey announced without anesthesia. Pete smiled and took his hand, lacing their fingers. Gerard guessed he had made a displeased face when Frank elbowed him.

“That’s amazing, guys. Congratulations!” said Frank. Since when was he the well-behaved one?

“You’re not living together already?” was all Gerard thought of asking.

“Clearly not,” Mikey answered, unbothered. He probably assumed it was a joke. “We wanted to tell you first, because we have something to ask from you.”

Fine, this was his chance to be a good brother. Gerard knew they had started on the wrong foot, and it may had go on longer than it should because he still couldn’t manage an honest smile on his face trying to understand what the big deal was behind the two of them moving in together , so he had to say yes to whatever they were going to ask from them or risk being labeled as the biggest asshole in the cottage they were going to share for the next few days. He really didn’t want things to be any more awkward than they already were.

“Sure, anything,” Gerard said.

Mikey looked at Pete, handing the conversation over to him. “Well, we kinda wanted to ask you guys for advice? You’ve been together a long time and you must have some wisdom for us.”

What the fuck did he meant by it? That they were old? Their honey moon period was long over? That they hadn’t touched each other’s crotches in three weeks? That Gerard couldn’t turn Frank on at this point in their lives? They had turned vanilla? They were boring now? They were probably going to get a div —“ Like, anything you want to warn us, or teach us,” Mikey continued.

Gerard’s expression visibly softened and he exchanged looks with Frank. “I guess we can come up with a few things.”

“More than a few,” Frank laughed.

“It may be corny, but we wanted to do, like, an informal ceremony on the 25th,” Mikey resumed explaining and Pete put an arm around his shoulders, kissing his hair. Gerard wondered if it was embarrassing for them to be telling them what they wished to do, and felt bad again for not being more excited. “And you give us your notes, and I’ll give Pete the key to my apartment.”

“So, like a wedding,” said Gerard, a bit surprised.

“Yeah, we don’t really believe in signing papers,” Pete replied. “I mean—not that there’s anything wrong with that…”

Of course, there it was! Each time he tried to like Pete, he had to go and make a dumb comment like that, hurtful even, clearly on purpose and personally directed at him. Did no one see it? Wasn’t Frank upset at their relationship being reduced to signing papers like it didn’t mean anything?

“Hey, whatever works for you,” Frank shrugged. Since when was he the mature one?

“Anyway,” Mikey returned to the topic. “We want you guys to be our godfathers. Godbrothers? Best men? Best brothers? We’ll come up with something.”

“Sounds perfect,” Frank smiled. “Thank you for sharing this with us.”

“Yeah,” Gerard chimed in as quickly as possible. “It feels like something really special. Thanks.”

Mikey nodded. They all got up. Gerard felt like he had a timer on his face counting the remaining seconds he had to withstand the conversation without imploding, because Frank rushed to put a hand on Pete’s shoulder. “I’ll show you the second floor.”

***

With Lotion all curled up on top of the freshly made bed, Gerard got to organize the stuff they had brought and they were absolutely going to use, starting with his water-color paints and the three sketchbooks he needed for them, following with his fountain pens to write on paper because lately doing it on his laptop distracted him too much, and also the fifteen volumes of comic books he had on his reading list and were of course going to be read these days. And no, he wasn’t stalling on the conversation Frank definitely wanted to have as soon as he was done helping Pete and Mikey settling in.

For the record, it wasn’t always like this. Just last week it had been Gerard’s turn to intervene in a conflict Frank was having with the people handling his merch, who kept ruining his cryptic messages and consecutive announces on social media, by making him understand that not all was lost and he just needed to talk to them instead of tossing out the full collection because some people had seen it before it was official. Seriously, Gerard could also be the mature one when needed. Truth be told, they had a good balance of taking the role the other one needed, but Gerard still didn’t feel good about this conflict in particular. He wasn’t supposed to have conflicts involving his brother.

He and Mikey had an excellent relationship, one that other people envied. And Frank knew nothing about brothers, much less about brother-in-laws. Why was he handling the situation better than him?

Gerard didn’t even want to accept there was a situation, at all. Mikey had been through a lot  — A LOT — of partners and no one irritated him like Pete did. Although he didn’t get to deeply meet any of them, due to Mikey only keeping relationships so casual Gerard didn’t know they were romantically involved and thought he was only meeting his friends until he pestered Mikey enough to confess there was something else, and Pete was introduced as a boyfriend right from the start, which was weird. Gerard hadn’t heard about him before it was official.

So maybe he didn’t like that. When Gerard met Frank, he told Mikey all about him  —well, not all of it since it included more glory-hole like experiences than you could tell someone you shared a blood bond with— and they talked in full detail of everything going through Gerard’s head, with Mikey going as far as to sneak in to meet Frank before they became an item. And in return, Pete just appeared out of nowhere? Where was waiting for the older brother’s blessing? Did his opinion hold no value?

Well, no. His opinion didn’t matter. It was Mikey’s life, not his.

Obviously not his, because he would’ve never chosen someone as bothersome as Pete Wentz. Pete, Pete, Pete, even his name was annoying.

“Are we talking about it?” Frank asked as he stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him.

“We are,” Gerard accepted and sat on the edge of the bed, extending a hand to caress Lotion’s exposed belly; it was truly therapeutic. He had only had his kitty for a day and already felt like it was his support animal. “How much of a dick was I?”

“Not that much. Like, 5 out of 10” Frank gave him his honest opinion, helping him release some of the tightness in his chest. It wasn’t easy to be confronted with what he was trying to deny. Frank sat next to him and took his other hand. “1 is being a good brother in law who’s already 43 and doesn’t behave like a kid, and 10 is the biggest dick ever—wait, let me rephrase that.” Gerard started laughing, which was clearly Frank’s intention. “Monster dick.”

Frank always knew how to make him feel better. To be fair, dick jokes usually did the trick.

“I’m trying, I know Pete’s a good guy. Well, I mean, he must be…”

“He is. He’s really nice. And he asks about you all the time.” Gerard rolled his eyes. “See! That, right there!”

“What? I didn’t say anything.”

“You rarely do, but you make faces and get annoyed.”

It was true and Gerard frowned, feeling caught. “Why are you talking to him?” he asked and held back from adding anything else, although it was pretty obvious what he had left out:  _ ‘behind my back.’ _

“Because I like him?” Gerard rolled his eyes again. Frank couldn’t help laughing. “Okay, I wanted to let you reflect on this, but can I just tell you what I think is happening?” Without anything to offer, Gee made a hand gesture for him to continue. “You hate new people.”

“No, I don’t!” he reacted immediately. “ And I’ve known Pete for two years already!”

“You’ve barely hung out with him, you haven’t invited him to any of your group chats or D&D sessions, even though he has been hinting forever—”

“He hasn’t.” 

He totally had.

“Gee, you’re like a cat, okay?” Gerard instinctively looked at Lotion. “You need to sniff people around until you’re comfortable. Remember when I introduced you to Tucker? I had to first tell you about him through photos, then have him meet you casually in a Starbucks and only then I could invite him over for dinner.”

“Tucker’s a lovely person.”

Frank’s eyes widened as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Dude, you fucking growled every time I mentioned him.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“Of course you don’t. That’s fine, but you haven’t really given Pete a chance, and he’s here for the long run, you know?”

“Is he though?” Gerard gave it one last try with what little hope he had left that Mikey was going to break up with him.

“He is. This is their version of getting married.”

“They’re only moving in together.”

“How many people have lived at Mikey’s apartment?”

Gerard scratched his head, thinking really hard, sure that Mikey must have had at least a roommate or someone who went beyond staying for a couple of weeks with him for non-romantic reasons. At least one of his partners must have done it.

“Right. None,” Frank supplied.

“Fine,” Gerard rubbed both hands on his face, sighing tiredly. “But if he makes fun of my magic cloak I’m killing him and you’re burying the body in the backyard with me.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” said Frank, leaning in to kiss his forehead.

***

Gerard was granted a few more hours of hiding in their bedroom with Lotion under the pretext of letting him get used to his surroundings, when in reality it was Gerard who needed it. He was trying to own up what Frank said and accept that sometimes he had trouble letting new people into his space and it was particularly difficult with Pete because he didn’t feel like he had a choice. Mikey hadn’t included him since the beginning, perhaps out of concern that Gerard was going to be a jerk to him. There was a lot to unpack there and they were supposed to be on vacation.

He sighed, aware that he couldn’t hide much longer. Those were the kind of things you did for family, just like being there for Christmas because the majority wanted to. And well, maybe he had never been too much of a Christmas' fan; since he was a child his family had forced him to have a good time with them instead of letting him hide under a blanket to watch movies by himself. Now it was Frank forcing him. Well, not exactly like that, Gerard knew it was for the best, and his asshole of a husband was right too about him missing Mikey.

Only now he realized he had been avoiding hanging out with his brother because of Pete. Sometimes he hated how quickly and precisely Frank could figure him out. He wanted to believe it was the same both ways and he read Frank just as easily.

In fact, yes. He knew him a lot. For example, he knew about his latest weakness of watching him in a tank top, something Gerard hadn’t used in his favor for a while. Mainly due to the weather, but now he didn’t care. If he had to make an effort to like Pete, then he wanted to know there was a reward waiting for him after it. Okay, yes, he was still a brat, so what?

He looked around for his clothes, confident that he had packed at least one tank top for that kind of emergency and yes, it was the dark green one. It didn’t have anything special besides allowing him to showcase his shoulders and arms, but it did wonders on Frank, so he changed into it and opened the bedroom’s door. Lotion ran outside and Gerard tried to hold back on feeling betrayed yet again. Maybe the festivities made him especially sensitive to betrayals.

He walked over to the kitchen, where the three of them were laughing about whatever and turned around to see him step in. Great, they just had to make it as awkward as possible. Perhaps if he stayed still long enough he could pretend to be invisible and return to his room, something like channeling his inner chameleon. He was sure there was at least 1% probability of that working. “Hey, we were thinking of watching Die Hard,” said Frank.

“It’s a Christmas movie,” Pete laughed.

Huh. That didn’t sound half bad. “Sure? I mean, I’m always down for watching movies.”

“Awesome,” said Mikey. “We’re just waiting for the pizzas to be ready so we can eat in front of the TV.”

“We were about to knock on your door,” Pete added. Gerard had to admit it was nice not to be forgotten.

“Well, I’m here now.” 

That was way easier than he thought. No one rubbed it in his face that he was just now joining them, or that he didn’t help with dinner. The mood didn’t feel heavy either, nor were Pete and Mikey giving him upset or resentful looks, which is more or less what he expected from them, although he didn’t know why. They had never done anything like that, and Gerard was pleasantly surprised that it didn’t take much effort to hang around them. He only had to laugh at their jokes, nod, make some comments and it would all be fine. No one was expecting anything more from him.

What a relief!

They talked about nothing until the pizzas were ready and Frank took out plates. Gerard quickly searched for trays and glasses that Pete and Mikey helped carry into the living room, with no one complaining. Shit, were these holidays actually going to be awesome?

It was all jokes and eating for the first half of the movie and then it was time to bring out the blankets and settle in pairs on the couches. That was the upside of being two couples instead of the whole family: they could understand wanting to do couple-y things. Gerard in particular had missed being close to Frank with the peace of mind that they had nothing else to do besides feeding their pets in a couple of hours.

He got closer to him under the blanket and put an arm around his waist, noticing how Frank stared at his shoulder and slowly caressed his arm, like he was allowing himself to enjoy the lack of sleeves. “Hey,” he said in a whisper.

Frank licked his lips without realizing and brought his gaze up to his face. “Aren’t you cold?”

“A little,” Gerard answered. “Warm me up?” he added in a low voice, near his ear and leaving a soft kiss just below Frank’s jawline. He noticed how Frank swallowed right in that moment, which meant it was working.

He put his other hand on Frank’s abdomen. No matter how much he wanted to go lower, he wouldn’t for obvious reasons, but it was enough to feel close to him and steal some of his body warmth, while also maybe leaving an open invitation for when they could escape to their bedroom. Gerard had missed touching him too, he couldn’t help sneaking a couple of fingers under his sweater and grazing a bit of skin.

Frank kissed him on the cheek, seemingly as an apology for getting up from the couch right at that moment. Gerard didn’t want to assume it had been to run away from him, but it was a relief to hear the toiled being flushed. He had gotten up to pee, okay, nothing wrong there.

However, the suspicion came back when he felt a hoodie on his shoulder and turned around to see Frank. Why did he want him to cover up?

“You’ll catch a cold, c’mon,” he insisted. Gerard complied because he wasn’t going to ask what the hell was wrong in front of more people.

“Thanks, honey,” he smiled. Better to focus on the movie.

***

Well, thinking it was going to be easy taking care of their three pets was a mistake. After watching the movie, and the movie’s sequel, and the movie’s sequel’s sequel, Mikey and Pete said goodbye and disappeared upstairs, because despite offering their help, Frank and Gerard turned them down convinced they wouldn’t need it.

Big mistake.

Lois didn’t seem to understand why she couldn’t come into the house and Lotion was under the impression that inside was his territory, and also of Lois being too big of an animal to deal with her. Soup? Okay, she was small. Lois? No, big monster. And the only way to get away from her was climbing as high as he could, so now Gerard was on top of a kitchen counter trying to get him down from the fridge while Frank attempted to get Lois and Soup out to the backyard until they could lock Lotion up in their bedroom. It was too cold to leave the dogs outside.

“C’mon, buddy,” Gerard pleaded, stretching his arm to grab him. “It’s just me, remember? You like me. I’m comfortable to sleep with. On. Whatever you want.”

It wasn’t without a scratch that Gerard managed to hold the kitty in his arms again, but at least he made it. And he mentally thanked Frank for making him wear sleeves, because the aftermath would’ve been way bloodier otherwise. 

He caressed his little head trying to calm him down on the way to the bedroom. “It’s okay, it’s…” he sighed. “It’s hard meeting new people. Even if they’re your family.”

Fuck. Truly full circle, huh? Frank called him a cat, gave him a sermon, and now he was giving it to Lotion. Wow, great storytelling. Really going deep with the metaphors.

“Well, you’re a kitten. Take your time."

Frank got inside the room and locked behind him. They could hear Lois and Soup’s paws scratching the wood, and Frank seemed in pain for having to leave them outside. “Was this a terrible idea?”

“No, not at all,” Gerard smiled. “I mean, maybe not great timing? But we’ll be fine.”

Frank’s face showed relief immediately in the form of a smile and his eyes getting softer. Seriously, Gerard was also able to offer encouraging words sometimes and calm him down, it was all about balance. There was no way he would allow himself to have become a 43 year-old man who couldn’t do anything for his partner or the people around him, okay? He was just a little temperamental with some stuff, but he still had his mystic wisdom, and that made Frank blindly believe him when he said everything would be alright.

Frank walked over to the bed and scratched Lotion’s head, after letting him sniff it and granting his permission. “Well, doesn’t seem bothered that I smell like dog.”

“Doesn’t bother me either,” Gerard smiled, getting in his space to smell his neck. Frank laughed and pulled back with the excuse of brushing his teeth before bed. But, was it an excuse? People had to brush their teeth and Gerard and Frank weren’t as insufferable to not allow each other time alone in the bathroom, but when Frank returned in his pajamas Gerard took it a bit personal.

“We woke up so early,” said Frank, along with some yawning while he got in bed. Lotion, the big traitor, climbed up his chest and curled on top of it.

“Yeah, we did,” Gerard nodded, without saying another word.

It was nothing, Frank wasn’t pushing him away on purpose, because if that were his intention then he would say so. The foundation of their relationship was telling each other everything, so any problems Gerard was making up in his mind were only that, made up stuff. And if he was really worried about it, all he had to do was ask.

He saw himself in the mirror, mouth full of foam from brushing his teeth, as the realization came. His eyes were big and sparkling, feeling like the biggest idiot in the world. All he had to do was ask! Easy peasy. He was going to ask Frank if they were okay, Frank would obviously say yes, and they would move on to have dirty sex.

Well, probably not right now because their cat was there, but maybe tomorrow after they let the dogs out.

“Frankie?” he called as he stepped out of the bathroom, starting to undress to change into his pajamas. He didn’t mean to make a dramatic pause, he was only asking if they were okay, but time seemed to stop when they heard a loud moan from upstairs. Gerard left his tank top halfway through his arms and watched Frank with big, surprised eyes. “Those fuckers…”

Frank brought both of his hands to cover his mouth in an attempt to contain a laugh that came from deep inside of him. The first moan was followed by many others and they weren’t sure who they belonged to. “Well, at least they’re having a good time.”

“Seems like way more than a good time,” Gerard commented, getting his pajama pants up. “You know? It really sucks that sex is so taboo. Like, we shouldn’t need to tell them to keep it down. What’s so wrong about knowing they’re fucking? It’s totally normal. And healthy. And good for them, right?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Frank agreed. “I mean, it’s kinda taboo now because… well, it’s your brother.”

“Of course, right, but it’s not like I’m gonna get turned on hearing him. Quite the opposite.”

“True. Same for me, he’s pretty much my brother too by now.”

Gerard laid on the other side of the bed and smiled. “That’s sweet, Frankie. I’m happy to share my brother with you.”

“That sounds kinda weird, but okay. Thanks.”

“Dumbass,” Gerard tenderly snapped back, rolling his eyes and turning off the lights just seconds before perhaps the worst moment they would have in those holidays.

“MISTRESS, PLEASE!”

Frank and Gerard stared at each other more shocked than before, staying completely still and holding their breaths like it would help them forget what they just heard. Frank only managed to cover his mouth again and Gerard jumped to his feet to turn on a speaker and play music from his phone, the volume as high as possible. There was no way they could keep hearing that.

“I take back everything I said. This is so not cool.”

“Who do you think is the mistress, though?” Frank asked with that face he made when he wanted to stir shit on purpose.

Gerard frowned, maybe thinking about it a little. Then he shook his head. “Not cool at all.”

***

Next morning’s potential awkwardness broke just like Gerard’s fancy coffee maker had been broken, which turned out to be the noise that woke him and Frank up at 7am, with Frank jumping out of bed to make sure the dogs were safe; one of them had tugged a cable that hadn’t been stowed properly, ergo, the mess. Gerard appeared with Lotion on his shoulder to check on his friend’s corpse  —yes, the coffee machine— and dedicate some words that were already ridiculous enough without considering he was still wearing his Snoopy pajamas and his wild hair being used as a cat tree.

Complaining about emotional distress, Gee managed to have Frank clean everything up while he took Lois and Soup out to the backyard.

“Christmas is canceled,” he declared once Mikey and Pete joined them in the kitchen. Frank was making pancakes. 

“We can use the other coffee maker, Gee,” he argued.

“No, that one sucks. I’d rather just — ” Gerard refrained from saying  _ ‘not drink coffee’, _ because that was the worst available option. “Die.”

“Smells good,” said Mikey, ignoring his brother’s drama, but paying attention to the kitty, who miraculously allowed Mikey to hold him.

“I’ve lost two friends today,” Gerard wallowed. 

He felt uncomfortable not having any coffee to prepare or cats to touch, and sadly those were his only personality traits so early in the morning, especially when Frank had taken over the pancake maker role  —one of the few things Gerard was good at in the kitchen— because he wouldn’t trust him near anything that could cause third degree burns before he was completely awake. And that’s why he needed coffee!

“There’s a Starbucks like 15 minutes away,” Pete remembered. The three of them stared at him so intensely it made Pete shrug. That was what happened when you were the new one. “What?”

“There’s coffee right here,” Mikey pointed at the exaggerated amount of coffee bean packs on the counter.

“And here,” Frank added, opening the cabinets he could reach.

“And I’ll bet…” Mikey chose a random drawer to open. “Yup, more.”

“I want Starbucks,” Gerard declared. “I’ll go. Give me your coffee orders.”

“Peppermint mocha,” said Mikey immediately, shutting the drawer since he was getting good coffee out of it.

“A latte with almond milk, venti.”

When it was Pete’s turn, he stuffed his hands into his pockets and got his keys out. “I’ll drive.”

Once again he had three pairs of eyes watching him and it made him almost take back his offering, although he luckily didn’t before Gerard got up from his miserable sitting around the kitchen. Frank and Mikey stayed quiet, as if they were watching a baby deer deciding to have the courage to drink some water and they didn’t want to disturb it. Well, it was exactly that, to be honest.

“Okay,” he accepted. The next thing he did was grabbing his coat because there was no way he would get out of his pajamas today, he didn’t care what people thought. Behind him, Mikey managed to give Pete a look so he wouldn’t comment on it and Frank also telepathically told him  _ ‘good luck’. _

  
  


***

Blame the lack of caffeine for Gerard not realizing what he was doing until he locked himself inside Pete’s car, buckled in and all; he had voluntarily stuck himself with Pete for the next hour with no form of escape. It was one thing to make an effort around Mikey and Frank, who he cared about. It was another to be nice with no witnesses. He wasn’t sure the coffee was worth it.

No, okay, that was harsh. Coffee had done nothing wrong. Gerard could be really cruel when he was sleepy. It was too early to be alive.

“So…” Pete started and Gerard tried to sink in his seat, again convinced that if he didn’t move he would turn invisible. He knew where Pete was going, the reason he had locked him in his car against his will  —nope, not at all what happened— to discuss why he didn’t like him and boo-hoo. It was really the worst time for that conversation. “Frank showed me his new songs, they’re  _ so _ good.”

Gerard ran a hand through his hair, just now noticing he had been frowning, and for no reason. Frank was a good topic. Fuck, Frank was his absolute favorite topic in the world. “They are!” he replied, his eyes sparkling. “He’s just so… raw when he sings, it still gives me goosebumps when I hear him.”

“Yeah, and he’s so good live, too!” 

Gerard found himself nodding like those decorative dogs on taxi cabs. Yes, obviously he nodded along every compliment Pete had for his husband, which surprisingly carried them to talk about Frank for the whole 15-minute ride until they reached the promised Starbucks. And of course Starbucks was a war-free zone, a sanctuary where Gerard inhaled as much caffeine as he could before giving out his coffee order.

“We should take one of those coffee travelers,” Pete suggested, pointing at those boxes they offered for meetings that carried litters of coffee. Gerard questioned all of his existence, because Pete was a saint.

“Yes, let’s!”

The sound that came from his lips after the first sip of coffee was simply pornographic and Pete had the decency to walk in front of him and pretend he hadn’t heard him. Good. It was just what Frank and Gerard had the decency to do the night before with their little display.

“Hey, I read the comic you and Mikey wrote together,” Pete started talking again once they were sitting in the car and driving back with their full coffee treasure. Gerard had the same feeling of being trapped, because mentioning Mikey had to come along with some sort of questioning or a proposal to get along better, and he didn’t want Pete to ruin the moment with that. “It was insane. Are you guys writing another one?”

Gerard squinted. “Mikey hasn’t told you?”

“No, he said it was a secret.”

“Oh. Well, we are. We have tons of ideas…”

As it was to be expected, Gerard didn’t care about what his brother considered a secret in front of the possibility of a pair of ears paying full attention to him while talking about comic books, especially if he was the one writing them, so Pete got a solid summary of everything they had been planning and when it seemed like they had no topic left, he mentioned watching his D&D streamings a few months ago, and Gerard found himself in another monologue about it.

Pete really listened to him, looking genuinely entertained, and Gerard realized that was him trying. He, indeed, was a good guy, just like everybody had tried to tell him, and it was also time for Gerard to extend the same kindness to him. “You should join us sometime,” he offered. “We’ll be playing every other week, on Fridays.”

“Na, it’s okay,” Pete kept smiling, relaxed. “I don’t mean to impose on you guys.”

Shit, was he really polite enough to refuse the invitation even Frank had noticed he wanted? “You’re not. C’mon, it’ll be fun.”

“Okay, if you insist,” Pete’s smile was impossibly big and obvious. Gerard started noticing some similarities between him and Frank, both of them being the type of person who showed every emotion on their faces, and carried their hearts on their sleeves. Okay, maybe he could understand how he had won Mikey over.

After having another sip of coffee that hit right on the spot, he simply had to ask: “So, who’s the mistress?”

Pete’s face turned completely red and his unsure smile told Gerard he wasn’t expecting that question, and that it must be hard to be getting it from the brother-in-law he was trying to win over. Pete couldn’t just tell him to fuck off, so he went for the closest answer: “You don’t wanna know.”

“Fair,” Gerard accepted. 

Pete was alright.

***

Terrible coffee crisis averted, the rest of the day went well. They walked around the lake with Lois and Soup, enjoying the fresh air, all of them wrapped in scarves and wearing gloves. It was easy to let go and have dumb arguments about if Kylo and Rey made a good couple, which Star Wars was the best and how many people were they willing to kill for Baby Yoda. And for Pedro Pascal. Yes, their conversations were all centered around Star Wars, but it worked. Later on they let Pete and Mikey handle lunch, which left them time for Frank to play around with Lotion enough to tire him; a big accomplishment considering small cats had an never-ending source of energy. Well, obviously Frank was the right person for that job.

Then it was time for afternoon naps, watching 80’s horror films together and almost ruining all of their friendship progress by playing Monopoly. Truth be told, they took it as a blessing when Lotion woke up and decided the best way to let them know he was hungry was to jump all over the board. They all accepted pretending they didn’t remember who was winning (Pete) nor who was going last (Frank) in favor of a healthy coexistence.

Instead, they decided to play for a while with the dogs. Gerard and Mikey set up a table on the outside terrace to play Magic, wrapped up in blankets. It was nice to notice he could still have those moments despite not being with their parents on vacation 30 years ago and hiding from them so they wouldn’t be forced to socialize with other kids. Now they were grown-ups who could choose to segregate themselves going as far as to buy a lake cottage to avoid people. And play Magic out in the open.

Mikey still hadn’t brought up the topic, and he didn’t look like he was going to. He seemed completely satisfied just being there, maybe because he was kicking Gee’s ass on the card game, but there really wasn’t any tension between them, nothing in his body language saying _ ‘I can’t believe it took you so long to accept my boyfriend’  _ or  _ ‘I want you to know I don’t care about your opinion and that’s why I never asked for it’.  _ The game was just a game and all of those thoughts and concerns Gerard had imagining how that weekend was going to go seemed, frankly, like a waste of time. Nothing ended up being like he feared, no one was forcing him to do stuff he didn’t want to, or judging him for what he didn’t do.

It was almost as if the world didn’t revolve around him. Wow. Each one of them had their own stuff to worry about and weren’t there to nag him for existing. In fact, Gerard was even comfortable around them, and well rested too! Ugh, he hoped he wouldn’t have to admit to Frank it had been a good idea after all.

Anyway, it was inevitable. If Gerard didn’t do it, Frank would triumphantly announce it with an  _ ‘I told you so’, _ one of his favorite sentences to say. Gerard was sure he was going to end up getting it tattooed somewhere. Maybe he could just tattoo it on his dick and whip it out when winning an argument; the thought was funny to Gerard, but also concerningly plausible. 

“He’s alright,” Gee said out of the blue, staring at the cards in his hand. Mikey didn’t do much to hide his smile. “I’m sorry I didn’t try before.”

“Na, it’s fine you took your time.”

Gerard smiled too. He knew Mikey wasn’t just saying it. Mikey never did that. He had really been patiently waiting and was truly happy they had come to a good conclusion. It was funny to see how Frank had his own method to introduce him to people, and that it was very Frank-like, getting involved and planning things carefully to get a fast and successful result, while Mikey stepped away from the situation and let him go at his own pace  —seriously, two years?— with all of the patience in the world.

He also felt lucky to be surrounded by people who loved him enough to let him be himself. Wow, he was getting so sappy.

They both raised their heads when they heard laughter. Frank and Pete were running around the backyard with Soup and Lois, passing a ball to each other, looking ridiculously happy and having so much fun, just like their dogs. It felt like watching four dogs, to be honest, and the idea made Gerard laugh too.

“They’re a pack now,” Mikey joked, obviously reading his mind.

“I didn’t know Frank and Pete were so alike,” said Gerard.

“I did. I knew you were going to like Pete eventually.”

“That’s because you’re a psychic, Mikeyway. You should use your powers for the greater good.”

“Being happy with my family is the greater good, so,” he shrugged.

Gerard agreed with the statement. What he didn’t agree with was Mikey winning the game on his next turn, and also having the audacity to say: “Best out of three?”

Despite nodding in silence, he decided it was time to annoy him. “So,” he began as he took out some new cards. “Who’s the mistress?”

Unlike Pete, Mikey didn’t blush, although Gerard did notice the subtle way he avoided looking into his eyes and how he hid most of his face with the excuse of checking his own cards before replying: “It’s not who you think it is.”

Gerard opened his mouth to say something, but chose not to. Maybe not knowing was for the best.

***

Give or take, it had been a wonderful day. Take the dead coffee maker and give how light Gerard felt after fixing things like the functional adult he was, but without really having to face anything. Wasn’t that the best resolution method? Yes. And although he wasn’t the worst cat dad in the universe, he didn’t mind Lotion getting so attached to Mikey he had to let him sleep in his room tonight. Gerard just let it happen, because Frank and him had stuff to do for which Lotion was too young. And too much of a cat. And they weren’t fucking in front of any of their pets, ever.

Anyway, they needed a night for themselves, now being relaxed and rested enough, okay? No one was falling asleep, or had to pull an all-nighter for work, or had any reasons to refuse sexy times. It was their night, finally, and Gee had a date with Frank’s blond hair. And his thighs. And his chest. And his ass. All of him, okay? All of it.

As soon as they shut the bedroom door, he turned around to watch Frank, who had sat on the edge of the bed. “You ready?”

“Yeah,” Gerard’s smile widened and he took off the almost-destroyed hoodie he was wearing. It was 90% holes and shouldn’t be considered a piece of clothing anymore. He was wearing a tank top underneath, foreseeing he might need it.

However, Frank grabbed his tablet from the nightstand. “We should write them separately, and give them different perspectives.”

“What?”

“Did you want to do it together?”

Gerard squinted, assuming he wasn’t referring to having sex because there was no writing there, but also trying really hard to find a connection between both subjects. “Oh,” he suddenly figured it out. “The advice stuff?”

“Of course. It’s tomorrow.”

“Right,” he nodded, a bit lost with Frank being so on top of it, but he was right and it needed to be done. Sexy times could come later. He really didn’t want to be the person bringing up problems anymore, and how long could it take to come up with stuff to advise his brother and his boyfriend to live together? “Have the same amount of underwear,” he muttered.

“Already got that one,” Frank warned. “It’s mine.”

“Motherfucker,” he stared at him, unsure if he was feeling betrayed, turned on or plainly surprised. Maybe all of them. “You want us to compete.”

Frank brought the pen’s tablet to his lips, tapping them as if thinking. “Could it be considered competing if I win before we even start?”

“Oh, you asshole,” Gerard shook his head, immediately going for a notebook and one of his fountain pens. “This is so fucking on.”

“It’s sweet that you think you can beat me, honey.”

“Don’t ever get married,” Gerard’s pen scratched the paper with pure hatred, making Frank’s laughter even louder.

He focused on what he had learned and how he could explain it to someone else. A lot of knowledge had been accumulated after being in such a long relationship, and although Mikey knew Gerard hadn’t been in anything this serious before Frank, it didn’t mean he hadn’t picked up on things to make coexisting easier. Some of them were obvious stuff, like not assuming your partner will pick up after you and paying attention when they mentioned which toppings they hated on pizza. A lot of it was listening to each other, trying to anticipate their needs and never forgetting about being yourself first and part of a couple second.

But if he really had to summarize and choose one reason why Frank and him were still together, it would be because they had put their hearts on the table since the start. They had stabbed them with a knife and cut them in half as deep as possible, letting them bleed while they picked at the interiors, showing them to each other. Okay, perhaps there was a less gorey metaphor, but something like that. Both of them had exposed, in full honesty, what they wanted from being in a relationship, no matter how embarrassing or scary it felt, and they promised they would keep doing it, although that didn’t mean everything was easy. Gerard remembered plenty of times where he thought what he had to say would mean breaking up, picturing this one would be the occasion Frank would say  _ ‘I can’t do this anymore’,  _ and despite his fears still opting for giving Frank the chance to decide instead of trying to do it for him. And every single time Frank had surprised him with choosing to understand and find a way to adapt.

It meant that when the roles were reversed and Frank was the one worrying, Gerard had no trouble with reassuring him they could handle it together and everything would be alright. Trust was a two way street for a reason. 

Gerard took a deep breath and raised his gaze from the notebook, brining it to his husband’s face. “Frankie,” he called in a soft voice. “Are we okay?”

Frank looked back at him, tilting his head a bit. He looked like Lois sometimes. “What do you mean?”

He seemed to genuinely not know what the topic was and that made it harder to bring up. Gerard was too spoiled, too used to Frank anticipating exactly what he wanted to say and having his help to formulate it. He rubbed his face, scratching his beard, stalling for a bit. “We haven’t fucked in like three weeks,” he had to say it as it was. Surely there was a better way to put it, but he couldn’t find it. “You know, any kind of fuck. You’ve been… I don’t know, a little distant. Which is fine, I mean, you know I love sex, with you in particular, and it’s alright if you don’t feel like it, but I’m wondering if it means anything, like… are we in a rut? Is this who we are now? Is it what all couples go through and why comedians talk so much about their lack of a sex life on their stand-ups? Or… is there something wrong? If you don’t like my beard or—”

“Stop right there,” Frank raised his index finger. “I fucking love your beard.”

“Then—”

“No. Gee, don’t,” he insisted on interrupting his train of thought, setting the tablet aside to get closer to him and grabbing his shoulders. “Babe, it’s nothing like that. I’m so sorry I let it get to this, I just—fuck, shit. It’s because of a surprise,” he admitted, shutting his eyes tightly. “There’s nothing wrong with us.”

“Like, a Christmas surprise?” Gerard guessed, unsure if he was supposed to be mad or what. “Another one? Seriously?”

“Yeah… sorry.”

“This fucking Christmas shit is getting out of control,” he rubbed his face on both hands. “You’re way too competitive, dude.”

“I know. It’s just that… fuck, I love seeing your dumb face all shocked and confused.”

“Don’t call your partner dumb when trying to apologize,” Gerard took his pen to add on the list, but Frank placed a hand on top of his, laughing and setting the notebook aside too.

“You’re way too cute!” he complained, as if it was Gerard’s fault, using the same tone he did with Soup. It especially became similar when he grabbed his face with both hands and squeezed his cheeks, getting closer to kiss his nose. “It’s really not my fault, you’re kinda asking for it.”

“That’s… so wrong.”

“Yup. But you’re stuck with me.”

It made him laugh. Of all the stuff he had said, reminding him they were still together calmed him down, and only then he could regain that light feeling he had after letting the worry out of his chest. Open communication was still the best aspect of their relationship.

“Now you have to tell me what you’re hiding.”

Frank bit his lips, pretending to think, and gave a sideways look to the time on his tablet. “Well, it is after midnight… I guess it’s fine.” His eyes went back to staring and Gerard’s face, who recognized that look he had when he wanted to instigate shit. THAT kind of shit. “It’s a tattoo.”

It was another one of those moments where time stood still. Gerard made a mental inventory of Frank’s tattoos and, consequently, of all the remaining empty spaces on his body where he could get more ink. He had already started with his hands’ palms, he had tattooed the back of his head long time ago, and Gerard knew he wouldn’t try again with his inner lip after the NJ one; the rest of his skin seemed to be fully covered by now, although he supposed there could be a few spots left on his ribs if it was a smaller piece, or the plant of his feet, but those didn’t last long.

There was space on his ass though—Could it be there?

“Where?”

Frank smiled so full of himself. Gerard hated him. He also thought it was hot. “You have to find it.” No idea what face he just made, but Frank started laughing. “There’s that dumb face I love so much!” he announced, grabbing him back and squeezing his cheeks again to kiss him.

And yes, pretty good kiss, Gerard missed being able to explore Frank’s mouth and making out with real intent, he wouldn’t be able to say he didn’t get distracted by their tongues finally finding each other, but he also didn’t miss the point and just pushed Frank on his back with his hands on his shoulders, getting on top of him. He couldn’t wait to find it. “What is it?” he asked, unzipping his hoodie while Frank’s hands caressed his naked arms.

“I’m not telling you shit. You think I waited three whole weeks to blow it now?”

“I had to try,” Gerard shrugged.

There were many theories to narrow down the search. For example, he didn’t believe it could be on his arms because that would be too easy to spot and it didn’t necessarily have to do with having sex or not. It should be in a place he usually hid, not open enough to stop undressing in front of Gerard, so definitely around the briefs area, or his feet.

However, he chose to play dumb. He wouldn’t pass on the opportunity to touch every inch of Frank’s body, so he removed his t-shirt and inspected up close, running his hands over his skin as if that would help him catch it. He was looking at the portraits on his arm and then at the black lines covering old tattoos; there were layers of history there. Gerard made him lift his head so he could check his neck, leaving a trail of kisses as he went down his chest, secretly hoping it would be there, but knowing it was impossible with the giant tattoo it already took place. He still spent some time on his nipples just because he could, and because he needed to erase that smug smile off his face by making him moan, licking around them. He kept going down, tracing his favorite pieces, like the swallows on his hips and the barbed wired just above the beginning of his pubic hair. He undid the button on his pants and noticed Frank was holding his breath, Gerard must be getting close.

“Turn around.”

“You sure?” 

It was difficult to interpret Frank’s face. Gerard couldn’t tell if he was near and Frank wanted to push him in another direction, or if it was the opposite, but he really believed the surprise was on his ass, so he nodded. Frank supported himself on his elbows to turn around, and Gerard quickly checked his back, staring at all the tattoos he already knew by heart. Yes, he hadn’t expected it to be there.

The excitement from pulling his pants down was only comparable to the first time he had the opportunity to do it, when he was getting used to the fact that being a couple meant they got to do that whenever they wanted, which became really often after they moved in together. It was the same novelty, watching Frank’s skin with a new perspective, as if he didn’t already know all of it. It was also like a really hot Where’s Waldo.

He couldn’t help getting rid of his underwear too, exposing everything at once, and perhaps that was the only time seeing Frank’s ass wasn’t what he expected. Well, it still held more than fine, and Gerard did his ritual of kissing both of his tattoos, his own signature and the horrible tacky kiss he still had, only now surrounded by barbed wire, but there definitely wasn’t anything new in that zone. Unless…? 

He placed both hands on his cheeks and spread them open. “It’s not there, dude, are you insane?”

“How the fuck should I know?” 

“I’m telling you.”

“Well, now I’m just enjoying the view.”

“Knock yourself out, but I’m falling asleep here.”

The threat earned him a not so gentle bite from Gerard that made him hiss in pain, but of course he liked it. Anyway, Gerard kept going down his legs, pulling his clothing out of the way, leaving some kisses and searching, despite knowing there wasn’t much room there for new stuff. When he removed Frank’s socks, he looked at the plant of his feet, both still pristine. It was maybe the less invaded part of his husband’s body.

“Huh,” he said, out of ideas. “Turn around?”

He thought he caught Frank taking a deep breath before obliging, supporting himself on his elbows again to turn around. Either the falling asleep thing was a huge bluff or he really liked getting bitten, because he was fully hard and Gerard focused on his cock immediately. That also helped him find the fucking tattoo. It was right there, on the head of his dick. 

“Gee,” he read out loud, as if it was needed. In response, Frank spread his legs, presenting Gerard with his present. “It’s—is it—” he didn’t know what to say or ask. In fact, he had no idea why he wasn’t touching it, so he did, extending his nervous hand and softly touching the velvety skin, feeling the slight bump from the ink. “Does it hurt?”

“No, not anymore.” Frank bit his lip, looking down as well, although he was actually watching Gerard’s face. “But I was told I couldn’t have sex or jerk off until it healed. And getting hard just hurt like a bitch, I had to try and avoid it too.”

As soon as he heard the explanation, Gerard was reminded of a few things. Yes, there had been a time around two weeks ago where Gee had greeted Frank as he was stepping out of the bathroom in just a towel and Frank had made a pained face, excusing himself by saying he had forgotten to buy something. There was also that time when Gerard woke up a bit horny and pressed himself against Frank’s back, rubbing his crotch on his ass, and Frank let out a sound as if he was hurt and ran off to the bathroom; Gerard just thought he really needed to pee. And now that he thought about it, he had been telling him of a wet dream he had with Frank when he stood up screaming he had a stomachache.

Fuck, he was still so dumb. He should’ve figured it out sooner. That was the reason Frank had been avoiding any type of sex talk too.

“You okay?” Frank asked, surely because Gerard had disconnected from reality. It was the only moment where he seemed unsure about what he had done. “Do you—” he began saying, but couldn’t finish the idea when Gerard placed his hands on Frank’s thighs to spread them further and brought his face down.

“This is so, so fuckin’ amazing...” he whispered, rubbing Frank’s dick it all over his face, on both cheeks. Frank fisted his hands on the sheets, making sounds that were either turned on or him being in a bit of pain because of the scratch of Gerard’s beard. “I love you, I can’t… I can’t believe it, I—” he cut himself off, because despite how much he wanted to keep talking, he needed his tongue and lips to demonstrate just how much he had loved his surprise.

He wrapped his dick with his fingers and went on to lick the tattoo, tracing the cursive letters of his name, digging into the slit while ignoring Frank’s warning about being too close, too soon. Gerard could hear him being over the edge, and also throbbing already under his tongue, but there was no way he could stop touching him now, no matter how he was trembling and sweating.

“Ah, ah, fuck… Gerard, fuck…” Frank moaned, grinding his teeth when he came all over his husband’s face. And beard. Shit. That wasn’t coming off easy. “Sorry… sorry, it’s been so long…” he tried to explain, still out of breath.

“You really didn’t jerk off in three weeks?” Gerard asked, trying to wipe some of the cum off his hair. It was thick enough to believe him. And well, it had taken him like two minutes to finish.

“Yeah… I couldn’t,” Frank breathed deeply and sat on the bed, bringing Gerard close to kiss him forcefully, all messy and desperate, ignoring he was getting cum on his face too. “C’mon, get naked, we’re not done.”

“I can tell,” Gerard smiled, still cupping Frank’s junk in one hand, noticing he had a semi. That was kind of unusual for people their age, but entirely possible after not having an orgasm for almost a month. They had never gone that long with it. “Can’t believe you did it just to surprise me.”

“Mh,” Frank softly moaned, raising his hips to meet Gerard’s fingers. “I’ll never do it again… never.”

He looked desperate enough. Gerard’s palm was soon wet not only with the remains of his previous orgasm, but with precum that was oozing out. He would be lying if he said he didn’t love watching him like that; they hadn’t been able to achieve that level of need even when they actually tried out edging. It felt like it was part of the present. It reminded Gerard of the time Frank had offered himself in the glory hole, and that was one of his favorite memories.

“I don’t know,” he began saying, taking off his tank top, noticing how Frank doubted asking him to leave it on or not. It ended on the floor anyway. “You’re running out of places for ink. I think you’ll get some barb wire around it at some point.”

“Fuck, that would hurt so much.”

“Like you don’t like it,” Gerard smirked. Frank bit his lip again, clearly remembering how it had been. “Who did it? Someone hot?”

“A little,” Frank admitted. “The guy who did my knees.”

“Did you have to be hard?” he asked, opening up his pants and getting rid of all of his remaining clothing at once, eager to continue.

“Only for sketching. They had to make sure it looked alright in all…” he searched for the right word, and Gerard thought he wouldn’t find it in his dick, but Frank grabbed it anyway. “States.”

Was Gerard bothered by a somewhat hot guy touching his husband’s genitals for a tattoo? Not one bit. First of all, the whole scene was hot as fuck. Second of all, if there was one human being he shouldn’t be jealous of, it was the guy who tattooed his name forever on his husband’s cock. That guy knew Frank was insane. And in love. But mostly insane.

Once Gerard was naked, Frank seemed to think touching himself was boring, so he went on to touching Gee, and soon it wasn’t enough. “I missed your cock so much,” he told him as he ran his fingers on it. “Get up here.”

He settled on the bed and Gerard instantly understood just how much he had missed it, he didn’t need to ask what he wanted, just had to get his knees on either sides of his head and let Frank take him between his parted lips, licking the tip of his dick with such care it seemed like he was just tasting around. Luckily he had been masturbating regularly in those weeks, otherwise only the image of Frank —BLOND— with his lips all stretched around him would’ve made him come in two seconds. Gerard could see himself coming in and out of his mouth, and his hand soon found his hair to make him take it a little deeper, just like they both liked it.

His cock was shining in spit once Frank had to take a pause to breathe, and Gerard sat back on his chest, which made him think of something else. He moved back a bit, until he was straddling his chest and grabbed his dick on one hand to rub it around one of Frank’s nipples. It had been quite a while since he had made Frank blush.

“That’s—” he said, and Gerard worried he wasn’t going to like it. “Interesting.”

“Is it?” he replied while handling himself with enough precision to flick his nipple a few times, making Frank moan in response. He knew his chest was sensitive as hell, but Frank always tried to deny it. It seemed like he just needed to edge himself for three weeks to finally accept it.

Gerard moved onto his other nipple and rubbed it a bit more, getting it wet with his own precum. “Can I try something?” 

“What is it?” Frank asked, although his face seemed so horny and desperate, Gerard couldn’t really picture him refusing anything.

Instead of using words to answer, he settled on top of Frank and placed his cock between Frank’s pecs, holding them together with his hands. Just as he had imagined, there was enough flesh there for it to feel amazing, and he moaned loudly as soon as he thrusted for the first time, slick from Frank’s spit.

“Fucking my tits,” Frank said in a low voice.

“Oh shit!” Gerard went still, biting his lips and squeezing his eyelids shut. He was supposed to be in more control of his body than Frank, but hearing him say the Forbidden Word almost made him cum right in that instant.

From the second floor, they started listening to loud music, which was his cue for: fuck, try and be quiet. Of course they wouldn’t, but it was a nice pause for Gee not to cum yet. Frank put his hands on Gerard’s, pushing and making him put more pressure on his own boner. Gerard shove his hips forward as slowly as possible, trying to savor the moment, just feeling his cock between Frank’s tits, and seeing his face so turned on because they were doing something they hadn’t done before. They were both enjoying it as much as the other.

“Hey,” Gerard called, licking his lips. “I want you to fuck me…”

“You don’t wanna finish like this?” Frank asked.

“No, I—” despite saying it, he was having trouble controlling the movement of his hips against his skin. “I want to have the tattoo inside of me…”

Frank swallowed hard, Gerard watched him and they both let go of Frank’s chest. It looked a bit reddened, what was visible with so much ink. Gerard got down from him and searched for lube on their nightstand. “There are no condoms left,” he said.

“How convenient,” Frank pointed out. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” While Gerard refused to acknowledge the accusation, he still pulled for one of his bags, ignoring some condoms left there in order to take out a Christmas wrapped box. “I do have one last present for you.”

“I’m guessing it’s sex related.” There was no point in denying it, Gerard wasn’t the type of person to get distracted from sex like that, especially when he was about to get exactly what he wanted, so it was a fair guess and he just handed Frank the present and let him open it, ripping the wrapping paper. “Very… festive of you,” he tried to keep a straight face while holding the glass candy cane-shaped dildo, but it was just impossible.

“Well, you love Christmas.”

“Guess I’ll have to make you love it too.”

It was Gerard’s turn to lay on his back on top of the bed and spread his legs open so Frank could kneel between them. They exchanged a stupid smile when they heard the music upstairs changing to a playlist of Christmas covers, starting with a rock version of ‘All I want for Christmas is you’ that made them wonder if their conversation had been heard or it was just destiny. Either way it was funny and they laughed a little while Frank grabbed the lube to coat his fingers first, bringing them to circle around Gee’s asshole and sliding them in to make room for the dildo. Gerard’s face was quickly reflecting pure pleasure, as he still got off so much on having Frank finger him like that. 

“Don’t cum yet,” he warned Gerard, who had nothing to say in return because he couldn’t make any promises. Frank chose to remove his fingers and replace them with their new toy to get at least some use out of it before they were done. 

The sight of the candy cane going in and out of Gerard’s ass was in equal parts hot and funny. Frank loved those kinds of things, even though he thought they didn’t really serve their purpose as much as they should. He didn’t think he would be able to cum knowing he had a candy cane up his ass, but Gerard seemed lost enough in the feeling of it so that it could happen, especially when Frank angled it to hit his prostate and he let out a pretty loud moan and other appreciative noises. 

“Fuck me now, I won’t last,” he managed to say, his voice all shaky. 

Frank took out the dildo and left it on the bed, ignoring the wet stain it left on the covers and went on to grab the lube again. Gerard’s eyes were glued to Frank’s cock as he slick himself up, making sure to rub over the inked letters on his skin for him. Gerard had to grip the base of his own dick, again preventing a premature orgasm. Having a tattoo kink with a guy like Frank wasn’t easy. But it was pretty close to paradise.

Gerard watched as much as he could how Frank lined himself up while Gee held his legs up with his hands behind the knees. He soon had to shut his eyes and just enjoy the feeling along with his own imagination of Frank’s tattooed cock inside of him. It shouldn’t be as arousing as it was, but it really had him over the edge in seconds. It didn’t help that Frank knew exactly where to angle his dick so that it would hit his prostate every time he thrusted, no matter how slow he was taking it.

The room was filled by their moaning, being as loud as they wanted with the music muffling some of the noise. Frank dug his fingers on Gerard’s thighs as he pounded into him, speeding up when Gee started meeting his hips with his own, clearly asking for more. “Fuck—I wanted to make you beg—” Frank muttered. “But I’m so close…”

“Please!” Gerard did it anyway, not caring at all if anyone heard him. “Please, Frankie, fill me up!”

“Shit,” Frank cursed again as he came for the second time, buried balls deep in Gerard’s ass, just letting everything out inside of him as he wanted. Gee tried to get a hand on his dick, but Frank slapped it away, too out of breath to say anything, but still wanting to do something for him, which obviously was Gerard’s plan all along.

Frank kept his hands on Gee’s thighs, giving him a look that said  _ ‘yes, okay, I’m doing exactly what you wanted me to do, but I’m enjoying it either way’ _ and although Gerard understood perfectly, it didn’t make his eyes roll any less to the back of his head when Frank got his mouth on his ass. Now it wasn’t only the pleasant feeling of having his cum inside, but the touch of his wet tongue searching for it. See? There was no way Gerard wouldn’t remember having done this. It was stupidly good, there had been nothing like it, and he was now fisting the covers and shutting his eyes closed, moaning like crazy. “Ah, Frank!” he yelled when he flicked his tongue inside. “MARRY ME! AGAIN!”

He thought he felt some laughter, but Frank managed to keep going, getting his fingers wrapped around his dick to jack him off as he ate him out. Needless to say, Gerard was coming all over his knuckles and his own belly in seconds. He thought he passed out for a bit, but luckily he didn’t miss Frank licking his lips.

“I love you so much,” Gerard said, sitting on the bed to hug him.

“Me too, babe,” Frank simply replied, his breathing going back to normal. “And it does taste different.”

Gerard’s nose scrunched up. “Is it gross?”

Frank thought about it, but ended up shrugging. “Na, just different.”

“I’ll have to try it.”

“You’ll get your chance,” Frank smiled, arching up his eyebrows. “And now let’s clean up before you trick me into falling asleep like this.”

Gerard stretched his arms above his head, yawning. “But it’s already so late.”

“Dude, no. If you don’t clean up your beard you’ll have to shave it tomorrow.”

“Ugh,” Gerard scratched his face, just now remembering about that. “Fine, you win.”

“What else is new?"

***

Doing a mental review, that Christmas won the ‘most Hollywood movie-like’ award. Christmas morning went by opening presents with the family, including their pets being all adorable and getting their own presents while the so-called adults hung around in their pajamas drinking hot chocolate. Gerard managed to overcome his coffee maker’s demise by getting a new one from Pete and Mikey as a present; it made Gee wonder if his brother really had psychic powers  —he would have confided in him if that was the case, right?— or if breaking his previous one had been part of an evil plan —he would have confided in him if he was a super villain, right?

When they went outside to walk around the lake again, they saw it had started to freeze and there was a light layer of snow on the trees, enough to make their surroundings look like a Christmas postcard. Sometimes special moments like that were just beautiful without much effort, as if the universe wanted to gift them a special seal for the occasion. Gerard also thought it was his own romanticism that made him look for details to hold on to so that he would never forget.

Pete and Mikey stood in front of them. It wasn’t a traditional ritual, like a marriage or a proposal, they didn’t have a set of rules passed on to follow; rather it was just them creating their own tradition. They had nervous laughs, maybe a bit of embarrassment out of how corny it looked, but definitely enough trust not to mention it, and just let the moment happen.

“I’ll go first,” Frank offered, holding his tablet and taking a deep breath. “So you came to us for advice. Big mistake.” The joke made them laugh and managed to break away the tension. Frank was good at that. “The truth is that I have no idea why Gerard is still with me, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know either,” he stopped to let them laugh a bit more. “But I’ll try to tell you how to be at least a good roommate, so you can avoid getting into dumb arguments about domestic shit.”

Frank went through a list that was exactly what Gerard had written down. Buy the same amount of underwear so you run out at the same time and do laundry once. Don’t leave shit around expecting someone else to pick it up, you’re still responsible for yourself. Don’t be each other’s parents, you’re friends. If you make tea, always pour two cups; same with coffee. And a lot of tips of the sort that they had discussed more than once. Every time they discovered a new ‘rule’, they told each other and presented it like a big reveal, adding it to the mental rulebook. Yes, they were huge dorks.

He stopped looking at the tablet after he was done and his expression turned more serious. “On a more sentimental note, and a personal one, I’d tell you to never think of yourselves as two halves of something. People love to talk about not being complete without someone else and you have to know that is total bullshit. You’re complete human beings, you’re absolutely capable of being happy by yourselves, you’re not with each other out of necessity. You chose to be together because that’s what you want to do, and because living together and sharing doubles the amount of awesome. You can’t live your life for other people, but you can live on your own terms, together.” He used his hands to gesture how they were separate people, and then laced his fingers to make his point. “All you have to do is talk. Talk a lot. Talk about anything and everything. Have a big speech or improvise, but always say what’s on your minds. Talk especially when you don’t want to talk, before your worries turn too big for you to handle them. Talk until you feel exposed and raw, dare to let your monsters out, fight them and let the other person catch you. They will be there for you.”

There was a silence that felt pretty ceremonial once Frank was done speaking, and it wasn’t only Mikey and Pete reflecting over his words, but also Gerard taking them in. There were all things they had already talked about, nothing new; however, it didn’t mean he wasn’t getting all emotional hearing how his husband expressed his thoughts.

“Oh, and,” Frank lifted a hand with his index finger raised. “Always keep your butt clean.”

“You were doing so well!” Mikey complained, bringing both hands to cover his face while Pete and Gerard laughed out loud. Really loudly.

Once they managed to regain some seriousness, Gerard felt all eyes on him, especially Frank’s, which were pretty challenging. And hot. He always looked hot. Damn that guy.

“Well,” he looked over his piece of paper and folded it, stuffing it into his pocket. “Frank pretty much said all I had written down, which is why I assume he volunteered to go first.”

“Of course,” Frank bowed, accepting his victory.

“But I also want to share something I learnt, and it’s that relationships shape us, for better or worse, so there’s a lot to actually unlearn when you get together with someone. We all want to think we have cracked the code. I was shaped by so much rejection I thought the solution was to be alone, and it took me a while to realize I hadn’t cracked shit, I was just running away from stuff that scared me.” The mood turned more somber than before and Frank got closer to hold his hand, lacing their fingers. “Frank was shaped by his past too, I noticed it a lot at first, how he tried to hold back and protect me from the parts of himself he didn’t think I would like.” He brought Frank’s hand to his lips, kissing it. “I guess he also thought he had the formula for a perfect relationship. The truth is, there’s isn’t one, surprise!”

He stopped for a moment, allowing everyone to let out a bit of the air they had been holding, softly laughing.

“There are no guarantees. I remember asking Frank to marry me because I thought it would give us a stronger bond that wouldn’t break. Did any of you guys know half of marriages end up in divorce?” He looked around, having different reactions from each of them. “What a shitty deal, we should get our money back, you know? Anyway. It’s what Frank said. It’s a choice. No legal documents or promises will keep you together, it’s just you making a choice every single day. And you know what? It’s hard work. Being available. Understanding that arguments are not about winning, but about fixing things. Letting your partner make the decision of loving all of you, not just the parts that you’re proud of, but all of it. And somehow learning to see yourself through those eyes. I’ll be forever grateful that Frank chose me, and keeps choosing to stay by my side. It makes me want to work harder and become a better person for him. And I can only hope it’ll be the same for you too.”

Gerard had been staring at Pete and Mikey while speaking, feeling squeezes in his hand at certain points, so he didn’t realize Frank was crying until he felt lips on his cheek along with a few tears. “You’re such a dumbass. You’re already perfect.”

“A perfect dumbass?” he joked, running his thumbs on Frank’s cheek, ignoring how his own eyes were also burning. They both laughed a little and shared a quick kiss, letting Gerard turn around to the newest couple to tell them: “Oh, and definitely keep your butt clean. That’s great advice.”

Mikey rolled his eyes, but didn’t wipe the smile from his face. “Thank you, both. Lovely words,” he declared. After taking a deep breath, he turned to Pete. “You still wanna do this? ‘Cause I have the same genes as half of them and just being with me means being around them a lot.”

“I don’t mind that. But even if I did, I would still choose you,” said Pete, a smile on his face just as big as Mikey’s. “And I promise to always pour you a cup of tea, and to not leave my messes to you, and to always make sure the appliances are unplugged after you use them.”

Mikey laughed a lot and proceeded to search a key chain in his pocket to put on Pete’s hand, which he held between his. “I promise to make sure we have clean underwear, and not to wake you up when I stay late reading comics. Or working. Or staring at the wall. Or staring at you sleeping.”

“Deal.”

It felt like the right moment to clap, so Gerard and Frank did, overwhelmed by all of the emotions they had just shared, and also the realization of how much of a functional pair of adults they had turned out to be, way better than they give themselves credit for. All and all, they had a pretty successful relationship, and they weren’t doing bad in their work and creative life. They also had a pretty cool family now.

Mikey and Pete asked for some time to stay outside, surely ready to move on to secret promises of other kinds, or that’s what Gerard said to make them uncomfortable. Frank grabbed his hand and pulled him to leave them alone.

“You won, by the way,” said Frank. Gerard stared at him wanting to ask why, but Frank continued. “You won Christmas.”

“Is this a pity win? ‘Cause I’ll take it.”

“It’s more like a  _ ‘you made me cry, motherfucker’ _ kind of win.”

“I’ll take it too,” Gerard squeezed his hand, smiling. Frank smiled back, but quickly moved on to shake his head.

“Where the fuck am I going to get tattooed next year to compete?”

“Um. I have a few ideas.”

***

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Keeping this exchange a secret has been TORTURE. I'm so happy I finally get to reveal it! I feel so blessed to have had [Casanovica](https://archiveofourown.org/users/casanovica/) assigned to me 💖 Getting to know you and your work was the real gift all along. And the friends we made along the way. Hope you liked this story! Hope I wasn't too creepy! Hope this year is amazing for you!
> 
> Thanks to the tittyfam for their support 🙏🏻💖 Thank you [Throwupsparkles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/throwupsparkles/) for hosting again! 
> 
> Happy new year! 🎉
> 
> PS: Always wash your dildos before using them!  
> PS2: I'm on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/kitoko69) if you need me for any reason. Also on [Tumblr](https://kitokokun.tumblr.com/) now.


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